


A Trio of Scholars

by Drollittle



Category: The Queen's Thief - Megan Whalen Turner
Genre: Plants and herbs, Politics, mythology for the win
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:05:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drollittle/pseuds/Drollittle
Summary: Pigeon eavesdroppings. Cryptic, but hopefully not too cryptic.





	A Trio of Scholars

_Skip the boring talk_ , young Peristeri Erondite wished as he listened to Relius greet his guests and offer them drinks. Surprisingly Relius hadn’t called him out of his curtained alcove to help handle the cups and bottles. By the king’s arrangement Relius was Peristeri’s tutor, and Peristeri was Relius’ hands. It had been that way for a few years. 

Besides helping one another, Peristeri and Relius also spied on one another for the king. They both knew it. The king suspected that Relius and his guests might be up to something tonight, and Peristeri would be rewarded with a visit to his favorite half brother, Dite, in the court of Ferria if he could report what they were plotting. 

So far, though, the three old scholars were just discussing plant specimens that the Magus had transplanted from Eddis to Sounis. “The mountain huckleberry is thriving alongside the clover,” the Magus said proudly, “the clover puts down deep roots that will withstand erosion, even in Sounis’ climate.”

“What of the agricultural plants you put on the abandoned farmland?” 

“The soil suits them. A few of the more decorative specimens that I brought to the capital are suffering shock from the lowland heat, but I think even they will adjust.”

“That is good news,” Kamet said. 

“What news from the eastern border?” The Magus asked. 

“Not so good. The emperor’s armies are preparing for a land invasion, and the peninsula simply does not have the forces to meet them.”

Relius spoke. “I have no doubt that Attolis will outwit them.” 

There was a tense silence. Peristeri knew as well as they that the king’s health was failing and his abilities not what they once were. 

The Magus spoke next, “No need to discuss political troubles tonight, though. I have several exciting discoveries to share with you gentlemen. It’s rare to have such an enthusiastic audience for my research!”

“Ah yes!” Kamet agreed. “Show us your latest.”

“Erondites,” Relius called, “come join us for a slice of honey cake.”

Peristeri loved few things better than honey cake, but the king’s offer to send him to Ferria was one of them, so he laid still and quiet. 

Relius walked over to the alcove and moved the curtain. “Peris?” he said softly. Peristeri kept his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open, relaxed.

“He’s asleep. I sent him on several long errands today to wear him out.”

_You fiend_ , Peristeri thought. 

“Excuse me while I check on my pigeons,” Relius said, climbing a ladder to look out of a trapdoor on the roof. They kept pigeons up there, and if anyone were eavesdropping from above, Relius would see them. 

“So, my friend, what have you discovered?” Relius sighed as he sat down again. 

“An ancient herbal cure for hookworm,” said the Magus, “as effective as the oil of immortality if one prepares it correctly.”

Peristeri didn’t know anyone with hookworm. The king ailed from a weakened constitution and pain from old wounds, but not parasites. 

The Magus continued, “for hundreds of years people have heard of this cure, but they didn’t understand what the ingredients were or how to obtain them. My predecessor had a fetish for antiquities, and gathered a great deal of information on such things, from the location of Hamiathes’ Gift to. . . well. . . Kamet, I’m sure you’re aware of an old Mede script dealing with plants and herbs, specifically the combined uses of, say, saffron and turmeric?” 

Kamet replied curiously, “I am not sure.”

“Saffron has a strong, strong flavor,” the Magus said, “and turmeric is taken to enhance the mind.” 

“Strong strong. . . oh! I do remember, I translated the script you refer to into Attolian.” 

“Indeed.” The Magus’ voice dropped to a whisper, “I have found the missing page. A life-saving recipe.”

Both Relius and Kamet gasped and began asking rapid questions. The Magus withheld his story of finding the page for now, saying, “Let me tell you the recipe. Firstly, one needs water from a specific well south of here. This one well goes deeper than any other, and has a unique mix of minerals in the water. Of course, timing is essential. We all know that come fever season, hosts of people will fall sick unless the hookworm is cured first.”

“What herbs does it call for? And how are they prepared?” Relius asked.

Peristeri scowled. Did the dusty old loons really orchestrate a private meeting to discuss medicinal herbs? To celebrate their useless academic idiocy while armies prepared to take Attolia? 

“I was thrown, yet not surprised once I thought about it, to read in the recipe that the saffron and turmeric were combined with lethium.”

Peristeri yawned.

“Lethium? What Lethium?” Relius asked. 

“Real, undiluted Lethium,” the Magus explained. 

Kamet sounded shocked, “Real Lethium? Was it physically in the water with the saffron and turmeric?”

“Yes, for a short but critical moment of the process.”

“Can we access that now?” Kamet asked, “or can we use diluted lethium?”

“We’ll have to try for the undiluted,” Relius said, “given the severity of the hookworm, I doubt that our usual diluted lethium would be effective, and I don’t know of any other varieties of lethium currently available.”

The Magus said, “Not to mention the hookworm being so stubbornly entrenched near the heart of the patient.”

“...which is for the best.” Relius added quietly. 

Peristeri started. How could hookworm near the heart be for the best? There was something odd about this conversation. 

Kamet said, “I thought the heart was independent?”

Relius answered, “It used to be, but once infected, the removal of the hookworm would cause heart disease and death by fever for the whole patient.”

Peristeri knew enough about parasites to see the error of Relius’ statement. Yet he knew enough about Relius’ intelligence to know that the old man wouldn’t be so utterly and blissfully mistaken.

_Oh picturesque pigeon droppings! They’re speaking in code!_ Now if he could figure out what they were really saying, Peristeri knew he would pick up valuable information. He could almost hear the tuning up of Dite’s orchestra in Ferria!

Curing hookworm. . . The hookworm must be the king. The heart that depended on the hookworm—the queen. Fever. . . Mede invasion. What were the saffron, turmeric, and lethium that went into special well water to cure the hookworm?

The Magus said, “we’ll have to buy Lethium ourselves.” 

Kamet suggested, “Should we show the recipe to the king? He has the best resources to get real Lethium.”

“No.” Relius replied. “I don’t believe he would allow us to use this recipe. He is convinced that the hookworm will cure itself. He is only concerned with the fever and the heart of the patient; he wouldn’t spare any resources for curing the hookworm—especially with the difficulty of getting to the well, and the risk of over-boiling.”

Kamet said, “It still amazes me that he cares so much for preserving each herb. I am accustomed to seeing supplies used liberally for the benefit of their patients.”

“For the benefit of their physicians, rather,” the Magus suggested. “Don’t Mede physicians care more for themselves than for their patient?”

“They care for the patient insofar as they need the patient to pay them, and they enjoy their patient’s loyalty and veneration.” Kamet replied, “is it not the same with many physicians in the peninsula?”

“Many, yes, but Attolis Eugenides is not a physician. Physicians aggravate him a great deal.” Relius said, and they laughed. 

Kamet said, “without the king’s help, then, our best connection to Lethium might be through our spearmint farmer. He does favor real Lethium.”

“So he does!” Relius agreed. 

“Kamet,” the Magus sounded apologetic, “would it be possible to substitute our own garlic and spearmint in place of the saffron and turmeric in the original recipe? I cannot think of any two herbs more likely to replicate the effect. I know it’s a big risk, to immerse and boil these ingredients in well water and hope to bring them out before they dissolve completely.”

Kamet answered, “I am willing to try it, and our spearmint farmer wouldn’t turn down an opportunity to help cure hookworm. I too have noticed the similarities of garlic and spearmint to saffron and turmeric. ”

If the herbs were code names for people, spearmint must be someone very loyal to the king. . .

Relius said, “I would offer some of my dried rue, but I fear its potency is diminished.”

It sounded like Relius was referring to himself as rue. 

“Likewise,” said the Magus, “mustard would be a poor replacement for garlic or spearmint, but mustard might be added as a third ingredient.”

“A third ingredient would be wise, especially since I wouldn’t dare expect the Lethium to be fully concentrated throughout the process,” said Relius, “but we can’t spare mustard, especially if the fever spreads to Sounis.”

The Magus said, “thank you, but do we have any other reliable ingredients?”

Kamet said, “the, uh, Eddisian sheepwort?” 

Relius said, “No, that is needed for the immediate management of the hookworm. Perhaps an herb could be gathered from the queen’s garden? Something potent, but not already in use. Something that could work along the lines of Lethium. Say, valerian leaves?”

The Magus suggested, “The lady Heiro knows herb-lore, we could ask her to provide valerian.” 

Peristeri bit his lip. Heiro had been corresponding with Dite as more than friends, and Peristeri was already starting to think of her as a sister. As much as he wanted this trio of schemers to succeed in saving their king and country, he couldn’t let them send her on a dangerous mission. He would tell the king and let the king put a stop to it, at the same time earning his way to Ferria. 

Or. . .

The Magus looked surprised, Kamet a little dismayed, and Relius merely smug, when Peristeri stepped out from his alcove and said, “I’ll be the valerian.”

**Author's Note:**

> Friends, seriously, if this story doesn’t make sense please tell me so I can edit it! Did you figure out what each of the code words corresponds to? 
> 
> Huckleberry, Clover, Saffron, Turmeric, the well water, Garlic, Spearmint, Lethium (real, and diluted), patient, physician, Rue, Mustard, sheepwort?


End file.
